Just like that, she moved.

We made it three months with Our Girl. Our Girl was to be with our family forever. She was matched with us! Our case worker and her team of workers along with us agreed that she was destined to be with us down to her round face like mine and blue eyes like Phil's. Unfortunately, due to circumstances that we never could have imagined and the three of us being miserable more than any of us wanted to admit, we gave our notice that Our Girl needed to be someone else's girl. :( It still hurts our hearts and will for quite some time.

We learned she was moving at a regularly scheduled case worker visit about 10 minutes before she was due to get off of the bus. Even though we gave our 30 day notice, we had no idea that there was even a possibility that she would move the day of the meeting. At the direction of her case workers, we packed her clothes (and had to take inventory of it according to protocol) and knew someone would be by at a later time to pick up the rest of her items. It was exactly like a number of her previous moves - abrupt. It was the exact opposite of their goal for her to be moved to us. Just like that, she moved.

This leaves our hearts broken and our arms empty again. It's all fresh just in time for Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month. There's a month for everything now, right? I've known about this month for far too many years as we started our Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Journey in 2010. So now we are both 42 years old. We have had two foster kiddos abruptly moved one of which was to stay forever while we were told the other was very likely to become available for adoption. And we've experienced nine miscarriages. So now, what? We have no idea. Infant adoption is still an option; however, it's very expensive AND mental health issues are still a very valid concern. Granted with infant adoption, there likely will not be any attachment issues BUT birth mother still has 30 days to change her mind no questions asked. Standard foster care is still an option which is how we had our first kiddos placed. Foster to adopt is still an option. We know more questions to ask next time around. Unfortunately, due to my age and lack of cooperation of my body, pregnancy with the help of treatment is not an option. Can we still get pregnant without intervention? Highly doubtful as it hasn't happened since 2014. We might just stick to being a super awesome aunt and uncle duo. That also makes my heart hurt. For as long as I can remember, one of my goals has always been to "get married and have babies". I'm fairly certain the goal wasn't chicken babies!

Thank you for being part of this journey. It's not an easy one but it is ours so we'll continue to walk in it, own it, learn from it, grow through it, and come out blessed no matter the outcome.