Being Foster Parents

I'm sure I could dedicate an entire blog and not just a few blog posts to our destiny of being Foster Parents. One day I'll explain all about our journey to become Foster Parents but that's for another day. In March of 2016 after much thought and prayer previously, Homestead Phil sent an email inquiry to start the process of being Foster Parents. I woke to a text that said "I signed us up for more information to be Foster Parents". *blink* We received a follow up call first thing that morning.

Fast forward through 8 months of training which included a complete DIY kitchen remodel, a 27 day visit from our niece from Oregon, Brooklynn which included a 10 day road trip to the Mari-times in NE Canada! We received a call saying a set of brothers needed an emergency placement. On December 20, 2016, two boys, brothers, were brought to our home. At ages four and six, we were overwhelmed with stress, emotions, the onset of Christmas, and being clueless as to the trauma that children at those ages were exposed to. As it worked out, the four year old moved to a home better suited to meet his needs and the six year old who turned seven while with us stayed for 11 months. An incredible 11 months! A trying 11 months. An exhausting 11 months. An 11 months full of love. An 11 months we'll never forget.

We am so very happy and blessed to have been meshed with this little guy. He has no idea who incredible he is but I hope one day he finds out! I can't even put into words the emotions we experienced from start to finish and even now continuing to process the experience. My best advice to someone considering being a Foster Parent, open your heart as wide as possible to the child/children who cross your path and pray like crazy they remember your love forever. At the same time, know that the system is broken... BADLY broken. Although there are definitely some professionals in the industry that care for those they are responsible for, the system is not set up with the children in mind.

Due to our experience with "the system", we've prayerfully made a decision to switch to an agency that is focused on placing children who have already been in the system with forever parents - Foster to Adopt. Our credentials were transferred from our previous agency. We still had a number of meetings with our new case worker and passed our Home Study without an issue. So we won't have any "emergency placements" but our next placement will be strategic and planned. The phase we are in is called "matching". We read through online profiles of "waiting children" and send the links to our case worker. She then requests longer profiles of the children from their case worker. Sometimes she receives a response. Sometimes she doesn't. Once there's a case worker who has read our long profile (18 pages!) and we've read the long profile of a child/children (which so far have been devastating), then there may or may not be a decision made for all parties agree to meet - without the children. We have not made it that far yet as we've only been in the matching process for a few weeks. Once a sit down of adults occurs then a meeting with the child occurs either at the current foster parents home. Then maybe a meet up at a park or for dinner at our home. Then possibly an overnight stay and a weekend stay. All to determine if we are a good fit for the child and the child is a good fit for us. The move will then occur and the steps to terminate their parental rights will occur immediately followed by an adoption hearing.

Then, we will have something we've never had before. Our names will together be on a birth certificate of our first alive child. The little guy who was with us for 11 months will forever be our first foster child. But this future child, will be ours to call ours forever. I'm certainly romanticizing it as I know it will be a tough transition. It will be tough for us and for the child (or possibly children!). It's possible when our forever child turns 18, he/she may decide to go back to his/her birth family. Fostering is hard but rewarding. Foster to adopt - I'll have to report back on!

If you feel as though you have room in your heart and in your home, there are all sorts of ways to fill the room in your heart and in your home. You can simply ask families that you are close with if the parents could use a date night. You can find out if your nieces, nephews, or even cousins' children can come by for a few hours or to spend a weekend. Parents need a break! More formally, you can google "How to become a foster parent?" and then click on your state's results. It's not easy. The smile of his first time to the beach and his laugh when you make up silly songs and his first canoe ride (but always called it a kayak) and his tears when he has to move are all part of the process.

This was a deep one without many pictures. One day, we'll have pictures to show! Today is not that day. In the meantime, we'll keep focusing on Jesus, the memories of our 11 months, Rent The Chicken, "the matching process", Givi Kitty, and each other.
Much love,
Jenn the Foster Mom